Losing Sleep

I was a very independent young teen growing up. It helped develop strong discipline in being places on time, like making it to a doctors appointment, baseball practices and games and getting to school on my own (different story, I was never on time)... Anyways! Being independent also meant that my parents put a lot of trust in me, they learned their mistake quickly, but never did anything about it. 

My mom had a regular job so she was around to drop me off places I couldn't get to on my own, but she'd have to leave me there and go help my dad at the bodega, that was more of a life commitment then a job. I didn't see my dad much, only at night before I was going to bed. Our conversations were short and we only really talked about the Yankees. It wasn't until I moved to Boston that our relationship and conversations matured, we still talked about the Yankees but he also shared his wisdom on how to be man on integrity and many other strengths that he's learned through life.

When I wrote this poem, I was reflecting on the times I hated my dad for not being around for the moments I really wanted to share with him and the moments that I acted out because he wasn't around. When I was out there living wild and never really showing up to the house, I never really knew my dad was so worried, probably because I had never seen that side of him. Every time we reflect on my rebellious days he tells me he would lose sleep not knowing what I was getting into. He had every reason to be worried, but now he's grateful I came to my senses.

Hide your smile little man, straighten up and fix your collar 

Be attentive with your mom, don't you dare disrespect your father

"Well, Papi wasn't there to see me hit that home run"

And daddy wasn't there when mama caught me with a gun

You shouldn't aim and fire, unless you want to be a coward 

Hiccup and lose your power, and life goes from sweet to sour

Papi never found out, but he made his way around 

Then my demons surfaced again and mommy caught me with a pound

Never strive to be complacent, ALWAYS! ALWAYS! do your best

Give us a call, or at least say goodnight so we can finally get some rest

Rafa