The Villain

It is said that we can be our worst enemy, and in many cases this can be true. In December of 2010 I was living in Dorchester, working as a bus boy full time and going to school full time. Money was low at the time because tips at the restaurant weren't major and hours were scarce. Classes were getting harder and assignments went undone. When I finished the semester my GPA was a disappointing 2.53 it drove me crazy and on top of that I was paying rent and bills later in the month.

I'm a prideful dude and hated asking my parents for help. I felt that I was too old for that and it was time for me to be responsible for myself. But, I know myself well enough to know that when stressful situations come up my tendency is to fold to the situation and give up, but I decided to do what I knew best. Lets just say before I became a disciple I made most of my money doing what dudes in my hood were doing (you make the connection), I became a product of my environment. Making money fast and in the way that is detestable to the law. I thought to myself, I can make an easy come up until I got back on my feet, I honestly felt like nothing was wrong with that.

Thats when things got even more difficult, I did more damage to myself and the people that I love. Not only that, I wasn't being a billboard for Jesus especially to the people I wanted to reach out to the most. I wrote this poem after coming back to my senses, with the help of some very important people.

The Villain

Where do I get my inspiration? from the ones who never fake it
I made it out the jungle not adapting to the hatred
its harder then it seems, cause we all strive to be the greatest
I see cages wherever I go, like I'm entrapped in the matrix
What is this reality? The world to me is lovely
My sinful nature feeds off the henny, weed and the money
walking tall and mighty, like theres nothing that's above me
But foolish are my ways, life isn't joking, there's nothing funny
My judgement is impaired, I never made the right decisions
I'm weaker then I seem and my motives lack precision
destruction is in my future when I sleep I saw a vision
I can't seem to find a direction. What could possibly be missing?
My mind is twisted, while I wave to the crowd they're blowing kisses
I'm looking for some praise, because my pride has made me vicious
I'm always crossing the line and I'm aware of what I'm doing
I said I was walking the narrow road, then later saw I wasn't moving

Rafa